Saturday, October 29, 2011

He Believes In Me

I came across this song on youtube today, but I didn't post the link because, though I LOVE southern-style gospel twang, EVEN this was too twangy for me! But I saw the lyrics and fell in love with the song, because I can so relate. I really wanted this new job, but like everything we all should do before we make any changes in our lives--big or small--is acknowledge God. "Lord, I only want this job if it's Your will, but if not, please don't let me get it."

It was a hard prayer to pray, honestly, because it was something I really desired, but if nothing else, it was a good training tool that I did pray that. First, it showed me God doesn't always say no, and will provide His best, which is in our best INTRUST--HA! (I had quite a few interviews and almost jobs at other banks, but now that I'm at the branch with the bank I'm at, I must say, "God knows me SO well and will pick only the best for His children. Makes me trust Him so much more than ever with my life. Have no need to fear.")

A second reason it was a good idea for me to technically pray Proverbs 3:5-6--Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and LEAN NOT on your own understanding--was that once I got into the job, I really began to second guess myself. "This is so hard!" "I think I'll barely get into the job and I'll flunk it and they'll have to terminate me." "Well if all else fails, I can always go work, such and such instead..." But then I remembered, I prayed for this job and God gave it to me. He will never give you more than you can bear. He is not looking for my capability, but for my availability. I had felt deep in my heart that one reason I REALLY wanted this job was because of the extended opportunities to be a vessel for Jesus in a not-so-Christian environment, but still safer than a female alone on the streets telling people about Jesus. If it was all those things and if it was God's will, there's NO other place in the world I should be right now than exactly where God has put me at this moment, despite all obstacles, failures and difficulties. "AND if God brought me to it, He WILL bring me through it," kept going through my head during the rough training.

God has brought be through the first part of training difficulties. I'm sure I will still have rough and overwhelming days, but the fact that you know that you know that you know you are in the center of God's will for this time in your life and the fact that I read my Bible one morning and I believe God gave me Isaiah 41: 10-13, specifically the end of vs 13: "Fear not, I will help thee," is enough to keep me going. When God believes in you, because HE has equipped you ("Christ in me the hope of glory"), that's enough for me. And when I see Him daily helping me as I give up trying to figure everything out myself and just be like, "OK, Lord, I'm about to do these transactions. Please lead me through each one," that's encouraging like nothing else!

So just know that whatever difficulty you're facing right now, God has got it under control if you've given it to Him. If you know that you're in the center of God's will, take courage and peace. If you're not sure, talk to Him about it, HONESTLY!! Seriously, honesty IS the BEST policy, and gets you the quickest peace in your heart because you know you have nothing to "hide" from God. He is so trustworthy and He will NEVER fail you!! He does give good gifts to His children, birthdays or not! And the little rewards along the way, makes all hardships so worthwhile. Just seek the Lord with ALL your heart. Even if it seems all you gain is closeness like nothing else to Him, that is more precious than anything else this world could offer. He satisfies EVERY area and quenches EVERY thirst in a person's life. He is SO GOOD!! He is GOD!!

HE BELIEVES IN ME

There's not a problem He doesn't know about.

And before He allows you to go in

He's already made a way for me to come out.

Everything that I go through, there's a purpose and plan.

I can't afford to get discouraged, I just place it in his hands.

Whether up on a mountain or somewhere below

I must believe He's got it all in control.



If He thought it was too much,

He would have never let go through this trial.

And if He didn't think I could take it,

He would have stop me long before I walked this mile.

But the thing that keep me going

When the wind and rain are blowing

He approved it all before it came.

He believes in me

That's enough for me to make it all the way.



Maybe you too, have questioned the source of your pain.

And perhaps in all of your frustration, you let the enemy tell you that God is to blame.

All of the feelings, the Lord knew would come,

If you give up now, His will can't be done.

The night is almost over, the sun about to show,

Your going to come through shining like gold.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Hokey Pokey Relationship

How would you describe your relationship with God? Do you have one foot in and one foot out? When you put one in, do you shake it all around, but when life either gets "easy" enough for you to handle, you take both feet out of God's circle and do life alone? Or when it gets hard, you do the same thinking God has abandoned you? Or do you just scrap the entire Hokey Pokey Relationship with God and say, "Good or bad, hard or easy, whether it seems He's done me good or whether it SEEMS He's not there (though He always is...Hebrews 13:5), I am going with Jesus ALL the way!!!

I know for alot of my relationship with God I have struggled to serve Him wholeheartedly from a heart that loves Him, from a heart of obedience, from a perspective of it's a done deal! I've drawn a line in the sand and I ain't going back! Some of that wavering came from fear of is God going to FORCE me to do things I don't want. He gives everyone a free choice (Deut 30:15-18), and though that verse may seem it's either life or death, which it is, He is not willing ANY should perish (John 3:16-17). God will deal with each person in a way He knows will be right for their personality. With me, that was gently, yet clearly. He showed me He wasn't forcing anything on me, yet that He was very present and hoped that I would see that His way was best and a means to protect me. Thank God, I saw that and am aiming everyday to live a life of complete surrender to the One who knows best, the One who loves me, the One who will NEVER let me down! He's wanting to prove that to you! Will you let Him?

How do you establish that sense of trust in the Almighty Who loves you more than ever imagined? Here's what I did/do. First, I ask Him to put in me a undying love for Him to which He seems to instantly answer! Second, no matter what I FEEL like, I make it a point to spend time with Him everyday whether it's 15 minutes or 15 hours (not really that long, but you get the idea!). In my time with God, I say, "God, show me who You really are and more of Your holiness. Show me my sinfulness in light of Your righteousness and make me holy as You are. I surrender all of me that I know to at this moment and I ask You to consume me with with You. Let me burn for You inside and out!" (Note: Some days you'll feel on fire for God and others you won't but know that the closer you aim to get to Him, the more you are being consumed by Him. Those prayers are NOT in vain! Matthew 10:29) Basically, as you draw closer to Jesus, that trust in Him will get established as a close love relationship because "that's what it's all about!"

So what do you think? Do you still see God as your "vending machine"--when you're hungry for Him, you ask for some red hot Cheetos to set you on fire for Him, but when the devil comes to discourage or tempt you, you leave the food to have some Hokey Pokey fun? You don't want to leave God because that means Hell, but you don't want to obey Him because you think you have a better plan for your life when the one of the main reasons you came to Him in the first place was because you realized you don't! So you end up putting one foot in your walk with God, but the foot that's in self and the world is the one that's shaking all around about ready to pull the other one in all the way! God is calling people. He's calling YOU to make a choice today! "Choose you THIS day whom you will serve [wholeheartedly]!!" (Joshua 24:15) That verse doesn't refer ONLY to salvation, but your daily walk with God and the things you choose to partake of reflect that decision of whom you choose to serve. Let's quit the Hokey Pokey, take both feet, put them in God's circle, quit shaking them around, plant them firmly on the Rock Christ Jesus and only when He sets your feet a' dancing do you "shake your feet around!"

Sunday, May 1, 2011

God Sees Your Chicken Burrito

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 (original post date)

A few days ago lunch time was drawing near, and I thought to myself, "Boy I'd really love to have a burrito. Too bad we don't have one." I opened up the refrigerator meat compartment drawer and suddenly saw a Taco Bell bag. At that moment, I remembered I had bought a chicken burrito one night and had forgotten to eat it for the lunch the next day. Two days later...there sat my chicken burrito waiting to be eaten! I guess God knew I wanted a burrito that particular day, but He also used it to teach me a valuable lesson at a VERY opportune time!

There are times when we all feel like we really want something, and we've wanted it for a very long time, but it seems like we will never get it. That was pretty much the way I was feeling that day. I was worried..."Will God ever answer this prayer and desire?" When I opened up the refrigerator door it was as if God was speaking right to my heart saying, "Look there it is! I knew you wanted it. You had no idea I had it here for you all along...why it was practically under your nose! I heard your desire and answered it before you even thought that's what you wanted." I started to smile and my day suddenly brightened because I KNEW in my heart that God was using that chicken burrito to teach me a very important lesson about trust in Him that day. Trust that He will never let me down and trust that He will bring my answer at just the right time.

So next time you are feeling like down and like that particular "burrito" will never be given to you, remember God sees the big picture. He knows your heart and desires and will bring you the perfect means to satisfy that desire! God sees your chicken burrito!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

In Jesus' Name

The song "In Jesus' Name" by Hope's Call (Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivYG0j_3k28) is one of the many things lately besides God putting a burning desire inside me to reach out to others and share Jesus with them. There's nothing more rewarding in life than working to share the love and joy that has been so generously shown to me! It breaks my heart to see some of my friends struggling so hard to find God when He is there with open arms just waiting for them to come. Though I also understand that struggle.

I was raised in church, so I've been well "churched." I asked Jesus into my heart sometime around 6 years old, but I really started trying to live for him when I turned 10 or 11. He filled me with His Holy Spirit as in the book of Acts (1 and 2) when I was 15. I knew the call of God was/is on my life and He's set me apart for a purpose. I knew how to say all the "right things," do the "right things," and how to get close to God through daily prayer and devotions. I knew to go to hospitals to visit the sick and to pray for those having trials and illness. But did I really know the closeness and how to get there to the One who loves me (and you) more than anyone could imagine?! I sort of knew how to get there, but getting there was hard. I generally am not the kind of person who just opens up and gets close to someone easily. I enter a friendship cautiously and sometimes feel awkward when I feel like I tell someone too much. (By the grace of God, He is helping me to be more open with people when is appropriate and not be afraid of being close to them...depending on the people of course.) This way of me often translated with my relationship with God. I was afraid of dying to myself (and too often when I do, the devil is always there to make me fear that giving up something of myself will make me lose my identity and I will HAVE to do what I'm God desires I do.) But I heard an evangelist preach this recently: when you run to the altar to let God know you are giving Him all of you and you lay down certain things He's asking of you, DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP WHAT GOD HAS PLACED FOR YOU INSTEAD! Now that puts a whole different light on surrender! You don't just lay down your life on the altar at the mercy of whatever is going to happen to you next, but God has already brought something for you in place of what is holding you back! That something (whatever it may be) will set you running for Him.

A year and half ago I had to learn a lesson about God that was a real breaking point for me in my relationship with Him. There was something in my life that was REALLY holding me back from closeness to Him. 1)A prayer I had been praying for as long as I could remember was NOT getting answered, so I resigned myself to the fact it was NEVER going to be & that God must not care enough IF He was even there! 2) I feared that He would just totally take over and FORCE His ways on me if I surrendered my all to Him. So I went my own way for about 5 months or so. More of an inward rebellious attitude than anything rooted itself in my heart, but my outward reflected it as well. I decided since God doesn't care about me enough to change my circumstance that I can just do what I want and do my own thing regardless of what He would say (if He did).
Well my rebelliousness came to a screeching halt the night of November 29, 2009 as I was driving home from work exhausted and just wanting to be home in my bed ASAP! Speeding down the highway, an 82 in a 65, I FLEW past a patrol car camoflauged in the night. I saw him a little too late and quickly slowed down and get this, PRAYED that God would somehow not let him see me! Ha! Like God would answer a prayer of disobedience, I don't think so! Glancing in my rearview mirror, I will never forget that patrol car easing his way onto the semi-busy highway, turning on those lights and picking up speed as he caught up to me (in my parent's car by the way...it is easier to speed in that car because it's newer than mine and you can't feel the road as well, but 82 mph was no excuse!). By the time he got to me, I was going a normal speed of 65, but that didn't matter. Off the road we both slowed down, and he approached with a flashlight. Of course, we all know I got a hefty fine, but God was gracious enough to me to put me on the diversion program where if I paid a certain amount and didn't get a ticket within the next 7 months, I wouldn't have to pay the orginal amount and it wouldn't go on my insurrance! God WAS merciful even though He didn't allow the police to ignore my sin. But that night was the breaking point in my running from God. I got home, told my mom what happened, closed my bedroom door and sobbed. I told God how sorry I was for running from Him, for ignoring Him, for being mad at Him and I was honest with God right then and there. I just told Him EVERYTHING, which is exactly what He was waiting to hear from me. Oh the peace that flooded my soul!
I came pretty close to backsliding, but THANK YOU, JESUS, He kept me! It has been a struggle to get back to closeness to God and to keep my focus, but praise Jesus He is helping me everyday and through that experience, He has taught me a huge lesson about Himself.
1) He is NOT a controller! (This was a biggy for me!)
He does allow freedom of choice, but
will out of a heart of love, constantly woo and draw you.
2) Living outside of the will of God is a miserable, not freeing
to "find yourself," experience. You will find yourself away
from God. You will find the carnal man you were created as,
but you won't find the Christ you were created to be like
(really yourself) the moment you gave your heart and life to
Him (day of salvation).
3) It is important to keep up a daily prayer life to stay close
to Him. Not out of religiousness, but out of a desire to
NEVER stray because you know without Him you are nothing, are
helpless, and are giving yourself as prey to the enemy.
4) He LOVES ME! If He answered all prayers instantly, we would
look to Him as only a vending machine, rather than a God we
can rely on and trust even when times look hopeless and bleak.
5) He is watching over me! He doesn't ignore sin. It will have
its consequences (my speeding ticket and the humiliation
after lol), but He was merciful enough to give me a chance to
change my driving habits and not let it affect my insurance.

When you look at that list and the goodness of Jesus, you can't help but adore Him, worship Him and want to share His goodness, unfailingness and love with others. That's what is burning within me today!
1)Serving Him is not a list of rules and regulations you follow, but a heart that decides nothing else in this world will give me true peace and joy and satisfy that inner hunger like He does.
2)Serving Him is not just a fear of going Hell.
3)Serving Him IS about falling so deeply in love with Him that you live to eat, drink, sleep, work, socialize, minister as unto Him. You will not always FEEL like it or FEEL Him nearby. Sometimes He seems very far away, but it's a walk of faith that He loves you and won't leave you.(Hebrews 13:5)
4)Serving Him doesn't mean you will be giving your all and never be able to make decisions of your own or be your own unique person in Him. He tells you how He'd like you to live, but knows that you can't do it alone. He lets you choose, but wants you to ask Him to help you do what He wants.
5)Serving Him is being motivated to spend time with Him daily because without Him we are nothing. (John 15:5) And the longer span of time we take to get to Him, the harder it is to get back to where you were with Him. You end up spinning your wheels, going around the barn and going the same places with Him when He could be leading you higher and stronger in Him if only we made time with Him a DAILY routine.

I pray that you will find the God I know through reading this. Personally, I think alot of people have a hard time with surrender to God and for many of the same reasons I did (and still struggle with)...the main one: control. But there is freedom in the Name of Jesus. It brings peace and joy. And I don't know exactly what God has planned for my life, but I know it involves praying for people, sharing my Jesus with people, helping them to see they can and WILL make it if they just put all their trust in Him. And with that, I will be content. :)
"I can pray.
Maybe I can go
I can reach out so they will know.
I can love; I can share
I can show someone that Someone really cares.
I can be used to make a change
In Jesus' Name!!!"